HELLO IM KIAP !

hmmm... nth to do so blog... hmmm.. ever since my last post till this post... everything is so diff now... even me... its like a total 360 change... how all the bonds were "broken" so fast... everyone starts so drift away... i noe things can nv come back to the same again... all the times in the past is already memories... a good one... im jus sad how come such a wonderful picture became to b so stained and old... the many times when we tonned at other peeps hse... the grp singing aka MTV... which i think is the best MTV... cannot b compared to ani MTVs on MTV channel... cos the songs sang by a grp of DAMN good frens is the most WONDERFUL music... too bad its all gone... yes! the swing... i NEVER forget dat... everyone present at that time promised... but now... how it turned to?? are promises realli meant to b broken?? n also... how we used to say... we will not b seperated even if we r in the main comm... -sigh-

segregation... mutral misunderstanding... (i think i spelt mutral wrongly) changes... its all ard in the air... peeps are drifting apart... i dun like words like... "i dun feel as close to the gls as b4" or "i dun feel so attached to gls anymore" to come to my ears... it realli aches my heart, how we... hu used to b so close make it to become like wad it is now with our own hands... everytime i listen to the songs related to foc/gls... "we believe" "dun wanna close my eyes" "top of the world" "at the beginning" i will feel damn xin suan... dat feeling is jus so indescribable... i believe everyone can feel it too...

today aft work.. on the transport... listening to those songs again... i began to think abt how to train the freshies... suddenly wad those agls said came to my mind... everytime they kp us... i will feel damn pissed off... but this time... its diff... i will realli ask myself wad they asked us back then... this sentence came to my mind.. "its ur FOC... mine's already over... now its u guys turn... whether u make it a success or not depends on u all" yes.. realli... overall... i think FOC is a success... but for my case... i think i failed... yes... i still think i failed... i did not perform up to my expectation... now in case any of my ifritians freshies reads dis... im sorry... u guys was realli a great bunch of kids... realli... do not think dat its u guys fault dat u all were not high enough... n think dat i already tried my best.... i think i did not try my best... 1st day... i already broke down... cos i jus carn bring u guys high enough... n kept thinking dat our grp is the worse... hopeless.. im sorry... these should'nt hav came to my mind at all as a welfare gl... dats y i think i failed... as a welfare gl... n to think dat im a welfare comm head... my the other 2 buddies did much better than me...much much much better... i noe its already over fer so long... but i jus carn help it... it jus came back to me... i hav regrets.. realli... y i nv have a longer toleration n y i giv up so easily... i realli regretted... to my freshies... pls do join gls... n if u all are able to make it till foc... do not follow my footsteps....

-sign off-

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